a short drunken interview with George Roswell

A short drunken interview with George Roswell from the infamous band THE ROSWELLS

RR= Me
GR= George Roswell

Ryan Rejected - please state your name?
George Roswell - George, FUCK you!
RR - who's in the band?
GR - me, Chris, and Greg.
RR - who does what?
GR - I sing and guitar, chris plays drums and greg plays bass.
RR - how do you feel about politics?
GR - I like cheap gasoline cuz it costs less.
RR - How bout them Bears?
GR - what about the Brooklyn Dodgers? They bums or what?
RR - What did you do tonite?
GR - Tonite? I got real drunk and dropped my girlfriend off at home????
RR - So do you guys have any releases out yet?
GR - Well we're on the Interbang Comp and (saying in a belch) Pop a Boner comp, but thats the old band, but the new band has a demo out?
RR - So do you guys suck?
GR - Uhhh no.. we're better than the old band.
RR - What are yer songs about?
GR - I dunno? Whatever pisses us off..or uhh I dunno? uhh stuff?
RR - Drinkin' shaeffer eh? You like shaeffer?
GR - well why should you pay $8 for a 12 pack…
RR - of what?
GR - ..well you see, you need to drink bud light or whatever sometimes to keep yer shit solid. But the other weeks of the year you can go ahead on spend 4 bones on a 12 of Oly or Shaeffer or the much missed Blatz.
RR - whats the story behind blatz?
GR - Well my theory is that, you know how they discontinued blatz as the gates mass suicide is going on, that they got the money from making blatz beer to snip them selves and now that their all dead they can't make any money.
(loud drunken voice in the background) Fuuuuunk thaaaaaaat shiiiiiiiiit!)
RR - OK…uhhh Tell me a bit about yerself?
GR - My girlfriend gives good head! (laugh) I really wish I didn't say that!(laugh)
RR - who are some of your influences?
GR - I am totally totaly totaly totaly influenced by Guttermouth (voice in the background yells : The Rickets!), and the Queers.
RR - sXe?
GR - dipshit! I'm holding a beer!
RR - what do you think of the smurfs?
GR - I don't like the smurf drinking game, it makes me want to fall a sleep.
RR - Explain the smurf drinking game.
GR - well its when the smurfs say smurf, you gotta (laugh) drink.
RR - One final question. Life in general? And what are your views on the punk scene?
GR - Nothing good has come out in a while. And thats why I listen to old shit. Life is fun as long as you don't werk 40 hrs a week and if yer umm tied down and yer not a dumb idiot and sleeping is fun. My grrl has a water- bed and I like to sleep on it and its nice and I think that if I slept on that everynite, I would develop some kind of weird posture, if I slept on it everynite. Cuz at home I gotta certa-perfect sleeper and it has the most support (interruption from drunken idiots) ….but it has good support. But I do have to complain about one thing, my mom needs to buy new pillows, cuz my pillows are like sleeping on Bob Dole's cock!(laugh) They're real hard(laughter).
RR - one more time..yer thought on the smurfs?
GR - well Gargamel is trying to finger fuck a spider web, but I don't think that the web is gonna get any pleasure out of that. Yeah!
RR - ok..thanx! it's been real!